Where does the name “Touchstone” come from?
We are made of our memories
We are a sum of our experiences and the imprints they left on us. Our memories have shaped us into who we are today, made us who we are now, and will continue to shape us in the future.
Memories don't just make up who we are; they also affect how we feel and behave every single day. Things that happen in our lives have a lasting impact on us, and we can find ourselves holding onto certain feelings or emotions for years, even decades. It is easy to get stuck in a thought pattern and repeat a cycle over and over again. This mental unease soon reflects in our relationships, careers, and health.
The concept of touchtone is based on this phenomenon. The definition of touchstone is as follows:
"Touchstone memory is a memory that lays the foundation for a person's current presenting issue or problem. This is the memory that formed the core of the maladaptive network or dysfunction." 1
In simpler terms, a touchstone is a defining stage in your life that becomes a strong memory. Perhaps, it was when you first thought you weren't good enough, or someone told you you were a genius. These events often don't feel significant on their own but later in life have a massive impact on our lives and identity.
However, through proper healing, one can soothe the negative memories that become touchstones and live freely.
Trauma and Early Memory
Touchstone memories hold so much power over us because, often, these are our earliest ones. These are often the first events in our lives that we can remember, and they often shape us in some way; they influence how we think or feel about something or even how we act toward others.
The importance of early memories can hardly be overstated. These early experiences provide the foundation for all later ones and are, therefore, essential to the development of our sense of self and our ability to relate to others.
This is because our brains constantly change and develop during these early years. A young child's brain is like an empty canvas waiting to be filled with experiences and memories.
According to researchers, the conditions a person experiences from infancy leave imprints on the growing brain and condition it. 2 For example, if a baby is loved and well cared for from the beginning, they have a sense of stability that stays with them even when they grow up. Alternatively, according to research, children that grow up with adverse childhood experiences have documented brain changes that may lead to chronic diseases, risky behaviors, and depression.3
Hence, the relationship between early life conditions and mental and physical health is clear. Unsurprisingly, people who have faced trauma in their earlier life suffer significant developmental hindrances.
Trauma is a stressor that overwhelms the body's ability to cope and is considered the brain's response to a profoundly distressing event. Depending on the nature of the event, the distress it causes a person, and therefore its long-term effect can change.
Commonly, trauma is divided into two divisions: big "T" trauma and little "t" trauma. Big T trauma is an event that involves actual or threatened death or serious injuries, such as war, abuse, pandemic, natural disasters, and severe accidents. Little t trauma refers to any overwhelming life experience that causes intense fear, sadness, helplessness, or horror — like losing a pet or failing an exam. The stress of everyday life can also cause little t traumatic reactions.4
No matter the trauma, it may leave a scar in your mind. According to the AIP model, mental wounds are like physical wounds. They can heal naturally, given time. Unfortunately, when we have flashbacks or get stuck in memories, these mental wounds reopen and hence fester: unable to heal.
What is Emdr (Eye Desensitization And Reprocessing) Therapy?
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR, is a form of therapy that has been found to be effective in the treatment of trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). To treat mental wounds, EMDR acts as a tool to remove the blockage and promote natural healing.
EMDR is a psychotherapy treatment that incorporates elements of psychology, exposure therapy, and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. The goal of EMDR is to resolve disturbing life experiences that are causing symptoms of stress, anxiety, depression, and other emotional distress.
EMDR therapy is considered the standard in treating touchstone memories created by trauma, especially early life ones. It helps a person redefine those "touchstone" moments in their life.
The idea behind EMDR is that when you remember a disturbing event from your past, it's stored in your brain as an image (picture). When you recall this picture, your body can react with physical sensations that match your emotions about the event — for example, feeling numb or frozen when remembering something traumatic.
EMDR therapy aims to help you process these traumatic memories in a way that reduces their negative impact by helping you connect your current feelings with more adaptive ones. EMDR uses bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements, sounds, or taps, to reprocess the memories that are causing your current problem.
How I work
The idea behind holism is that everything is connected — mind, body, and spirit — so if one area isn't functioning properly, then the others will suffer too. Holistic healing works by using all three elements together: mind, body, and spirit. It helps you to see how everything fits together so that you can change your life for the better by working on all three aspects at once - instead of just one aspect at a time (as most people do).
I use evidence-based and trauma-informed techniques to create an effective way to rewrite your story and give you back control of your life. We all have a past, and I believe we all deserve to heal from them. Using the fundamentals of EMDR, I help my clients to achieve it.
If you want to know more or would like to set up a free consultation session click here.
References:
Hensley, B. J. (2020). An EMDR therapy primer: From practicum to practice. Springer Publishing Company.
Doughty, J. (2019, November 20). Looking Back to the Time Before We Can Remember. EMDR Therapy - Wayzata, MN. Retrieved September 27, 2022, from https://www.resilientlifetherapy.net/new-blog/2019/5/3/looking-back-to-the-time-before-we-can-remember
Bryan, R. H. (2019). Getting to why: Adverse childhood experiences' impact on adult health. The Journal for Nurse Practitioners, 15(2), 153-157.
Moore, C., & Dukes, C. (2022). A Trauma-Informed Life. Delaware Journal of Public Health, 8(2), 92.
